there was once a girl who came home from school feeling similar to a cat being thrown into a blender. she proceeded upstairs as her mother had asked. she was scolded and said nothing for fear of saying the wrong thing. she received her grounding silently and went to her bedroom. she then slept for 3 hours, ate mac n cheese and watched the tv show awkward on hulu. she still doesn’t understand why she is grounded but she feels too emotionally and mentally exhausted to care any longer. for now, she will use this time to listen to Ahmir’s music, eat more and be slightly productive. she wishes you all a happy tuesday. ;)
God, I know I’ve been angry with you a lot lately. Some of it is anger towards the people you’ve allowed on this earth and some directly pointed at you. But, I’d like to say thank you. Thank you for allowing me to grow up knowing two people who were and still are passionately in love. Thank you for showing me how two completely broken people can make be made whole. Thank you God for showing me that even though they often make mistakes and stumble, they don’t give up.
God’s humor via my luck with churches is beginning to not be as funny as the years go on. I trust that you will use this God but I’m really becoming impatient. Give me leaders in my life God, ones that passionately seek you. Ones that realize how fortunate they are. Ones that will teach me to listen to others as well as ask for help. Give me wisdom God.
I can’t believe this one trip to the Dominican Republic has changed my life this much. I got back July 19th and haven’t stopped thinking on it constantly since. I learned so much while I was there. I met so many people whom I regret to inform you that I’ve forgotten most of the names of. There was so much to take in. I couldn’t believe the sights I beheld there. The experiences from this trip were astounding.
When we were in the bus riding back or to the feeding center or the hole, we’d sing worship songs. Now, I do not have a good singing voice at all but I love to sing praises. We would sing How He Loves Us and I’d pour out my heart. I hurt for the lost but while I was singing, I heard the words of How He Loves Us. God loves us. All of us. He loves all the poor families in the hole who live in tiny one room homes that are rarely more than a few feet long and a few feet wide. The little shacks that tiny newborn babies must sleep in. All the children who didn’t have any place to go. The children who ran to the sewage water and wading in knee deep to find a tennis ball that they saw floating around. Many of the children even drank that water, as well as many of the adults. I distinctly remember a few boys playing basketball with some piece of trash that washed upon the shore. None of them had proper clothing and it broke me. I watched as they played ball right next to the dozen pigs right next to them, the sewage stream flowing beside them, and the giant pile of trash bigger than you could ever imagine. People came just there just to dump their trash because no one cared about the people in the hole. They allowed them to starve and die. Young children, babies, the elderly. How can things get so bad? How could parents sell their children to drug lords to repay debt? How can parents abandon their children in hopes to fulfill whatever dream they had at the time? What leads a mother to surrender her baby to hunger pains and malnourishment like nothing you’d ever begin to see in the states?
God gave me a righteous anger during that trip to the dominican. He started a fire in my heart. He gave me the passion to stand up for those who can’t.
8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Even a beautiful God-scripted love story can never satisfy the way Jesus does. Even the most heroic and Christlike man on earth can never fulfill the longings of our heart like the true Prince and lover of our soul (Jesus Christ). And until we are able to truly make Him our first love, until we are willing to give up our dream of an earthly love story for His sake, we will never know the fullness of Him who fills us all in all. We will always be looking to a mere man to meet the desires of our heart, rather than to the One who created us, who knows us better than we know ourselves, and who gave His very life’s blood to rescue us.
Leslie Ludy (via lilswannnay)
I gave up my earthly love to chase after you… I’m ready to make you all I want all the time. I’m ready to want to be immersed in your word constantly. I know I am failing. God, pick me up and make me new. I want to be yours.